Overcoming Confusion and Personal Attacks
There are times when a situation occurs that you just have to take time to calm down before you address the person or speak to them again. When emotions are running high, you run the risk of saying things that will be misconstrued.You are a human being with a God-given emotion called anger that will be triggered when you are treated unfairly or disrespected. Everyone has anger, its what you choose to do with it that counts. Unfortunately, making you angry or upset can be the hidden agenda or goal of a certain type of individual. individual, They majority of this article will be in regards to the personality type that I am referring to. This article does not include all people, only people with personality types that fit the descriptions I will discuss. The individual with this personality type will often manifest as an angel of light with great ideas and promises promises,, but time will reveal their true agenda and that they are actually more like wolves in sheep's clothing that will show up to try to distract you, get you off course, and to use you to get what they what from you. Whether it is your ideas, your success, money, position.or possessions that they want ; they will turn on you when you see what they are up to and when you confront them and address it. They will do things to try to get you out of character to make you look as if you are the one that is overreacting even though they have disrespected you behind the scenes. Read on if you care for me to explain.
First, realize that these attacks may come to you randomly or unexpectedly and that they may completely blindside you but in time you will begin to see a pattern that you can learn to recognize and arm yourself for in advance. If you take some time to think back you my begin to see an established pattern with a certain person or certain people that will meet some of the descriptions I will discuss.If an incident has just recently occurred, make it a point to distance yourself from them as long as you need to so that anger, shock, aggravation, stress, and grief from their behavior toward you can pass and you can come back to your center. In the first day or so if you are so distracted, overwhelmed, and thrown off balance by the situation that you can't move past it you have to get somewhere quiet and still and just process it for a while. You have to do the best you can to remain as calm as you can. Begin to think of good things, positive things and people and you will begin to forget about the negativity you just experienced and you can start to move forward. With time and experience it will be become easier and easier and you will be able to let it go sooner.
Talk to someone you can trust . Write a letter to God about it so that you can get it out of your head and your heart because it is just to much to bear when it occurs. Do not use self-destructive methods to sooth yourself like drinking, smoking, hooking up with people, or over-eating. Even though you have the right to t set the record straight in this situation, this type of personality that is involved will often try to play the victim when their antics blow up in their face or when they are exposed. They may tell people half the truth to cover up their trickery and deceit and have people second-guessing your character. They won't tell the parts of the story that explain the consequences that they are receiving and why they are going through what they are going through.. I am SURE many of fights with people because you are highly triggered. You have to do thinks like go for a walk, meditate, listen to music, exercise, deep breath etc. Things that won't make a bad situation worse. I've seen this type of behavior happening to other people AND experienced these types of situations many times in my life, especially over the last decade or so.
Our society seems to be increasingly self-centered and narcissistic(many people say it is bi-polar but it is not) with people showing more and more "entitlement" behavior while showing less and less empathy. When a person is DETERMINED to have their way regardless of the rules...when they have NO regard for the feelings or experiences of others and when all they want is to "win" the situation will never end good. This type of individual will probably not apologize because in their mind they were within their right of doing whatever is was they did against you. Don't hold your breath for an apology that may never come. If an apology does come, it may or may not be sincere. It may be done just for them to "save face" but they will secretly resent you for holding them accountable even though they were the one who wronged you.
For this type of personality, people are expendable to them and this individual has no problem dismissing their own behavior and moving on while blaming the person they wronged. They do an amazing job of convincing others that they are not the one causing the problems and that the person who is defending themselves is actually the problem (masters of deception). There will be a LOT of twisting and lying on their part before it is all said and done because this person is not amateur. They are masters at masking their schemes and covering their tracks. Now, ALL of this could be avoided If the person simply deal with their personal insecurities that have NOTHING to do with other people, learn to communicate, apologize for their behaviors and work towards making changes. However, remember, just this is the way is SHOULD go it does not mean that this is the way it WILL go. They will usually let their ego and fear of shame and exposure get in the way and do whatever they can to protect their image...even if it means destroying yours by any means necessary. If you are dealing with this type of controlling , overbearing personality type in an individual and this type of distracting situation here is what I say, Be encouraged that you are not the only one. There types of personality types are everywhere. There is help and there is hope. You may be married to this type of individual or have an ex-spouse who is this way or maybe you have a parent or child that show's these traits. It can be a business colleague or person you encounter in a place of business you visit often. Whoever it is, once you see how they operate do not expect them to think like you or play by the rules.
This is where the hurt and pain can come in if you let it. You think that they believe in what is good, right, or fair...they don't they believe in "winning" by whatever means necessary. "I don't care, as long as I get mine" is their war cry. Once you call them out on their behavior, they may fix their behavior for a short time but the change usually won't last for very long because they only changed to make you or other people think well of them. They may even secretly resent you. The might try to seek revenge or try to find something on you to make you look bad, to expose you or hurt you, even if it means lying on you... but this is all apart of their personality. DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY. Even if is is personal. They were this way before you met them and they will probably be that way from now on unless THEY see the need to change. Research shows that our personalities are set in childhood. Real change can only occur with the PERSON sees the need to change or to turn around (repent) and is willing the work to make that happen.
So now you have some decisions to make. Deal with the disrespectful hurtful behavior or get away from it. But know this, you cannot change people. They only change when THEY want to change or see the need to change. If they don't see a need to change their ways no amount of you trying to convince them will do it. Here is what I say to it all of it...LET GOD ARISE AND LET THE ENEMY (satan, the true culprit behind the scenes) BE SCATTERED! PUT ON THE WHOLE ARMOR OF GOD SO THAT YOU MAY BE ABLE TO WITHSTAND THE WILES OF THE DEVIL (Ephesians 6:10-13). You need help dealing with this type of individual. This is not your average person. This thing is way bigger and deeper than you. The amount of negative energy and the physical, mental, and emotional drain it can cause can destroy you if you let it. Here is what you do: Pray and ask God to show the person their ways and to lead them to repentance. Then, ask God for the strength to do what you need to do in this situation. Ask God to fight this battle for you and to give you peace. Pray that prayer out loud. Refuse to let the person and the situation stress you out and make you sick. Make a decision to keep your peace. It is your God-given right to have peace and you shall have it! If you are in a dangerous situation physically with an individual physically get help! Let some time pass and let the pain and grief of being disrespected go knowing that you could not control another person's actions. Be encouraged and know that God will fight you battles for you if you call on Him. God bless!
